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French Fried Politics
by Burt Prelutsky
To me, the worst thing about Muslims, aside from their longing to be returned to
the good old days of the eighth century, and to drag the rest of us, kicking and screaming,
along with them, is the fact that far too many politically correct imbeciles feel compelled
to accommodate them and to find rationales for their violence. Two such enablers who
come to mind, I'm sad to say, are George Bush and Condoleezza Rice. Both have
promoted the lie that Islam is a religion of peace and good will. Perhaps in some parallel
universe where day is night, up is down, and love is hate, it is so. But here on planet
Earth, Islam is a religion whose mullahs preach sermons of death to the infidels. And just
in case you haven't noticed, that includes everybody who doesn't spend several minutes
every day bowing down to Mecca.
Yet we have the spectacle of American and European leftists arguing in the
defense of people who regard suicide bombings of school buses as a legitimate form of
guerrilla warfare; who speak up on behalf of men who treat their wives and daughters as
chattel; and who refer to those butchers who hack the heads off innocent civilians as
freedom fighters.
The French assumed that because they had built Iraq's nuclear reactor, played a
leading role in Hussein's oil-for-food scam, and vigorously opposed U.S. intervention in
Iraq, they were safely shielded from Islamic high jinks. As recent events have proven,
nobody is safe from their insanity. And considering what has taken place in Iran, Iraq,
Kuwait, Indonesia, Sudan, and other predominately Islamic countries, that definitely
includes their fellow Muslims.
In a brilliant tongue-in-cheek essay, Joseph Farah wondered if the intifada
currently taking place in France would cause Jacques Chirac and his political cronies to
resolve their problem with Islamic fanatics in the same fashion they have long argued that
Israel should solve hers; namely, by turning over large parcels of territory so that the
blood-thirsty fanatics can have their own sovereign nation.
Knowing the French as we all do, I suspect that it is a solution they will
enthusiastically support. However, the territory wouldn't be carved out of Nice or
Marseilles or -- mon dieu! -- certainly not Paris. Instead, in typically French style, it
would be Luxembourg, Liechtenstein or perhaps, once again, Czechoslovakia.
—(11/10/05)
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Mr. Prelutsky lives and writes in the San Fernando Valley.
He has been a humor columnist for the L.A. Times, a movie critic for Los Angeles magazine and has written for the New York Times, TV Guide, Modern Maturity, Emmy, Holiday, American Film, and Sports Illustrated.
For television, he has written for Dragnet, McMillan & Wife, MASH, Mary Tyler Moore, Rhoda, Bob Newhart, Family Ties, Dr. Quinn and Diagnosis Murder.
You can learn more about Burt and his latest book, Conservatives Are from Mars (Liberals Are from San Francisco) at his home page. Write Mr. Prelutsky at:
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