It can't be easy being a liberal these days. For one thing, in a desperate attempt to make inroads with the electorate, they not only can't speak like liberals, but outside a few blue spots on the American map, they don't even dare identify themselves as such. Instead, they've begun calling themselves progressives. Frankly, it sounds like a Madison Avenue brainstorm. But, instead of coming up with a whole new name, they might as well have simply advertised themselves as liberals, but New and Improved!

As a result of this approach, you have Nancy Pelosi, left-winger from San Francisco, trying to pass herself off as the second Mother Teresa, except for the part about washing the feet of lepers. With her new-found religiosity, don't be surprised if she starts talking in tongues, although, come to think of it, that wouldn't be much worse than the way she usually sounds.

Then we have Hillary Clinton posing as a centrist. I suppose she is one, if centrist is someone whose politics place her right in between John Kerry and Ted Kennedy. Otherwise, her best chance of fooling anyone is by donning a Harry Truman mask this Halloween.

Whether they call themselves liberals, progressives or Whigs, the Democrats never change their modus operandi. They continue waging class and race warfare, while simultaneously condemning the Republicans for being divisive. Led by Howard Dean, the mad munchkin, the party continues to shake campaign contributions out of the usual suspects - trial lawyers, deep pocket unions, George Soros, and the Hollywood fruitcakes.

When you see the sleazy levels to which the liberals will stoop, the big mystery to me is how the Democrats manage to do better in general elections than the Libertarians or the Vegetarians, for that matter. It's not just that they continue trying to gain suffrage for illegal aliens and even felons serving time in jail simply because they know that a resounding majority in both groups will vote for them, either.

For instance, a recent study by the non-partisan ACVR Legislative Fund disclosed what many of us suspected; namely, that it was the Democrats, not the Republicans, who pulled off virtually all of the dirty tricks during the 2004 election. Especially in such places as Milwaukee, Seattle, Philadelphia, St. Louis and Cleveland, liberal thugs slashed the tires of GOP election day vans; phoned Republicans, giving them the wrong date for the election and the wrong location of their polling places; intimidated elderly voters and even assaulted some. In short, they were doing the very things they were accusing the Republicans of doing. And the major media, being the major media, saw to it that their lies were repeated, and never questioned.

The Democrats claim they want Bush to nominate moderate, middle-of-the-road judges. These are the same folks who, under Bill Clinton's stewardship, placed the former head counsel for the ACLU, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, on the Supreme Court. That should give you some idea of what they regard as moderate.

These are the same jackals who tore Judge Pickering to pieces, condemning him as a racist - a white southerner who had stood up to the KKK, earning the love and respect of blacks in his own state - simply because the likes of Kennedy, Leahy and Reid, couldn't tolerate the idea of a conservative being in line to join Mrs. Ginsburg on the Court.

Now, as they gear up to trash Judge John Roberts, they're hoping to find that there was something unsavory about the way that the judge and his wife adopted their twins. If Joseph Welch were still alive, I'd like to think he'd look at the leadership of the Democratic party and say, as he once said to Sen. Joe McCarthy, "Finally, have you no shame?"

It's been about 140 years since the War Between the States ended. There is, I submit, a similar war being waged today. One could only wish that the opposition forces were being led by someone one-tenth as decent and honorable as Robert E. Lee.

Regrettably, that's not the case. As a result, we find ourselves in the midst of a battle royal whose outcome is every bit as important to America's future as was the Civil War. Thanks to the tactics and conduct of the Democrats, this current conflict might best be called the Uncivil War.

You can learn more about Burt and his latest book, Conservatives Are from Mars (Liberals Are from San Francisco) at his home page. Write Mr. Prelutsky at: